You do not need…

You do not need to chase what is heaven sent.

Dear ladies,

I’m no professional when it comes to relationships. I like to think I give some seriously kick-ass advice but as far as keeping a guy goes? I don’t seem to have the best luck with that. Sometimes I think I fall too hard or perhaps a little too easily.Don’t get me wrong! I don’t just fall for any Tom, Dick or Harry that passes my way. Crazy as it seems, I visualize where ‘our’ relationship would go long before we’re even official. If I can’t see you getting along well with my friends or family during our crazy functions, I won’t see you at all – period. Some guys would probably read this like ‘wtf that’s absurd!’ where most girls would read this rather lightly because we’ve all done it before surely!

Long story short, when I’m in it, I’m in for the long run. Are you?

Before any of this ‘visualizing’ takes place, there’s a chase. If not a chase, then some kind of hopelessly romantic miracle. How else did you find your significant other? Fate? Look, my point is – everyone gets to the point in their love lives (existent or not) where chasing becomes exhausting. It’s tiring, immature and quite frankly, if you’ve been hurt before – you shouldn’t be chasing at all. Give that heart a break for goodness sake. (Haha! No rhyme intended). I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person. Breathe a little; your existence does not depend on the temporary presence of another.

My relationship with Jesus is personal. In other words, I don’t find comfort in glamourizing my religious beliefs online. On another more open note – you do not need to chase what is heaven sent. 

Not saying it’s better to sit and wait for the right guy to come along, girls who do this are… Well, wasting their time. Women do not wait. Women are not even chasing. Real women set their priorities straight & in terms of relationships? They love themselves first & so they should because they’re the stable lovers! They do what all girls should do – focus on knowing themselves. Get to know who you are – Find yourself before finding someone to share your undecided self with. How you might say? I can’t tell you. You have to figure that out for yourself. Here’s a personal tip though, are you ready?

Breathe & be.
Do you know who you are? What you like & love? Have you changed? Was it for the better? Good God, do you even like who you are anymore?
Here’s a couple of things I do that gets the ball rolling: (other than picking up a new hobbie or what not)
1. Spend time alone. Relationships are two way streets. There’s no point being in one if you can’t afford to reciprocate what feelings are given. This is a chance to see your life from your own eyes! Take it as a gift.

2. Take a hike, Mike! Doing something so simple like walking or running alone really opens your mindset. It let’s your conscious breathe independently and your mind move silently. This has to be the best way to come back down to earth ♡

3. Travel. Do it, do it now & do it often.
I’m always on the go. Maybe not so much anymore seeing as I have my heart set on my Mr Right, but I’ve been there. Do it! See new places. Meet new people. Do you know what the best thing about this is? It doesn’t matter where you go! Get out of the house. Take a road trip. Take the train 2 hours away from your closest train station. Who lives sees but who travels, sees more. There’s no doubt in that.

4. Focus. Whether you’re working on buying your first home alone, getting that degree or losing weight? Focus. Focus on your priorities. Focus on your career. Put yourself first for a bit! Treat yourself here and there. Focused women are headstrong women. Headstrong women are passionate lovers & are even more of that stable companion every man needs.

Focus on yourself before you start focusing on potentials. When you are ready, he might already be there? (Jokes. This isn’t a movie, but you know what I mean) When you find yourself, you find so much more. You find just how awesome you are to have had your heart broken before and now you’re smiling! (Probably laughing at how stupid you were for dating a little shit like your ex) You never know!

The point is, don’t chase what does not want to be pursued. ‘Doooon’t do ettt!” If he’s not reciprocating whilst you my love, are chasing? He’s either playing hard to get (highly unlikely especially if he’s mature enough to know better), doesn’t even like you (most likely) or likes other men? (it’s possible. My dad always says, if a boy doesn’t like his princess, aka me, he’s gay). So… Seems legit?

That’s sarcasm, as you can tell. If you feel like he’s not fully in it, then sweetheart – he most probably isn’t. Believe it or not… The men worth listening to, are the men who aren’t afraid to hurt you by saying “I don’t see you the way you see me.” So stand up, shake their hand & walk away. If you’re in a relationship and feel like you’re still having to chase him to shoo other girls away? He’s still not in it. He’s supposed to end this chasing nonsense& he does that by making you feel loved ♡.

Quit the chasing ladies. You may want him but you sure as hell do not need him.

P.s, if you feel like you have to post every damn single milestone of your relationship on social networking sites such as Facebook, to show you’re an “actual” item & he has nothing on his page of you because he hasn’t approved all the proud tags you’ve made? He’s already told me & everybody else 1 simple truth. He’s not in it.

Don’t give me 10 excuses to defend him honey. Just take it in ;-) Quit. The. Chase.

Payt

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