Love?

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Midnight. I can’t sleep.

I wish someone warned me about love. I wish they warned me of all the emotions that came with it. The hurt, the confusion, the pain and joy. I wish I knew. Perhaps maybe then I wouldn’t have to feel so much. Hopefully by the end of this post, i’d regret what I just said because love is truly beautiful. No matter how ugly I look when I cry, haha. 

For those who haven’t been in love or, ‘been there’ … This is a true account. A true telling of what love truly feels like because, let’s face it… For those who have been there, there is no movie, no novel or song that could truly epitomize ‘love’. Love is much like a sentence better left unsaid, but only left unsaid because there are no real words that could describe how it feels. In movies, you only ever see what happens AFTER the climax; after the argument, after the temporary break-up, and you know what? Everything you seen happen? Tends to be all “happy dandy”. Get real, it’s far from reality. Where the couple slowly walk hand in hand into the sunset or the streets of the city… It’s only a mere fantasy. Months, weeks or maybe even days after – they’re right back at it with little petty arguments and sleepless nights and it becomes constant. Nothing wrong with that.

But i’ll tell you what. Love isn’t just walking into that sunset & apologizing. It’s not exactly walking through the city with two flat whites talking about your day either. It’s the arguing, the pestering, the crying and every other little unwanted ‘argument’ that happens. Love is the mutual silence couples endure in the car after what seemed like hours of arguing over people you’ve dated in the past.It’s the regret you feel after such a pointless disagreement which led you to say things you know you never meant. Love is that one point in a argument where you feel exhausted; too exhausted to keep bickering. It’s also the point where you miss them despite the fact that they’re standing right in front you.

 

You know you’re in love when, you hesitate to answer the question “Why me?” when your boyfriend/girlfriend asks. Perhaps because every single attempt you make to answer this question, the answer sounds immensely cliche (or as I say, cheesy).

You know you’re in love when, you refuse to fall asleep without solving an argument. Though sometimes, you do fall asleep – you wake up feeling even more worst than the night before. 

You know you’re in love when it hurts. If you have not been hurt, then you have not yet loved my friend! Love hurts.Need I say more? You could be completely over the moon for someone and yet hurt. Not just an inkling tickle to the heart. Hurt? As in, the kind of hurt where you feel as if your heart has been wounded. Have you ever stared at someone you love, and have this hurt burning in your heart? I have. I still do. I stare at him almost every single day with this feeling. Mainly because I feel as though he doesn’t know just how much I love him; and really… There are no words which could suffice how I truly feel. It use to be because I was afraid of losing him. He’s truly amazing I assumed someone would steal him from me. Except I grew out of this phase. Nobody should ever love in fear of losing another. It’s silly. 

For those who are still thinking about being hurt and in love? Let’s not deny it. You can love and feel hurt. Love needs pain just as much as the sunshine needs the rain. No wonder why it scares people! Some say love fades. “It doesn’t last.” Well… You just don’t know until you try, or maybe, you don’t know because.. You haven’t been there. People become so immune to love nowadays they settle for less. Settle for someone who makes you feel like you could love them forever. Seriously. They’re the ones who we should be tying the knot with. They’re also the ones that are hard to find.Nobody said it’d be easy, but it is sure as hell worth it.

Once you find that person, do yourself a favor, stay open minded.

Stay positive. Reciprocate what love you receive. 

Follow your heart and don’t forget to take your brain with you. 

Payt

 

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